July 20, 2006


I spied this beauty at a rally I went to in the City a little while back. It was a rally against our Federal Government's new workplace laws.

I love a rally. It brings all sorts out to have a good old march and good old chant. My personal favourite : 'Howards a wanker' in that tune that is hard to impart here. It is a simple statement. A statement of fact that does not urge any action or reaction; it makes no desperate, howling opposition to an awful policy; it just says the PM is a wanker. You know it, I know it, and here we all are marching through the streets yelling it out, with little smiles on our faces, because its a bit naughty. And because its true. That is important.

More Ned

I have just got around to linking my mobile phone to my computer.

I installed the little CD that came with the phone about 2 years ago. See how busy I am?

I moved all the pics in my phone to me laptop and found a few favourites.

Here is one of old Ned, asserting his canine dominance over my two barking poodles. Such glamour dogs. They cannot stop looking at the camera.

I’ll have to get a pic of mum’s new dog. When we first got him, he looked like he would be a small dog. But I think we may have got that wrong.

An old friend asked me the other day whether my mum really told me that she had buried Ned in the front yard. I had to assure her that, yes, mum really did try that one on.

Its probably where I get the urge to tell the note-leaver that the barking dogs have been destroyed.

July 18, 2006

The New Burb

We are doing well in our new burb. Last night we found a message on the back of an envelope in our letter box. I have scanned it for you to see. I stomped around to some neighbouring houses last night in my respectable suit to find this idiot, but only one neighbour was home. And they are selling up anyway, so they wouldn’t have bothered. I say ‘idiot’ because I have had a bit of a look at the envelope they used. As you can see, there is an identifying mark on it: “Abused Child Trust – Platinum Class Lottery’ with a funny ass-shaped upside down love heart (what does that mean?)

I did an internet search on the ‘Abused Child trust’ even though I was a bit concerned about what would turn up on my work screen. It looks legitimate. But there is the other half of the mark – ‘Platinum Class Lottery’. And I can tell you that the envelope was opened very cleanly.

The Platinum Class Lottery is one of two things – it is like the readers digest mega lotteries (your winning ticket is inside! Open this letter RIGHT NOW!) or the ‘only 2000 tickets at $50 each’ (You are likely to win something terrific with these terrific odds!) type lottery. In any event, it is only the stupid people hidden away in these leafy suburbs that open these stupid envelopes properly and then keep them tucked away in case they have to write an anonymous note to a new neighbour.

This is why private investigators go through the rubbish of persons of interest. Turning up an envelope like this will indicate you are dealing with either an out-of-work no-hoper (one of Federal Government's favourite words for the unemployed) or retired clown that has nothing better to do than sit around at home all day neatly opening lottery envelopes in the vain hope that they will win a million dollars and be able to buy another house away from those damn barking dogs!

I am not even going to go into the stupid exclamation mark. Or the anonymity. Good grief. Are we 14 again?

We were dog-sitting yesterday and I think that our guest dog may have sparked the note. I hope this is the case. Firstly, so I don’t have to do anything about my own dogs. Secondly, so when I go door knocking tonight to identify the author of the exclamation mark, I can tell them we had the dogs destroyed lest they continue to irritate. And if there is no further barking, they may just think I am for real and that their ridiculous anonymous note has lead to the near instant death of two very lovely, fluffy black poodles.

Yes, it is altogether much better to get worked up about this note, publish it on this blog, tell big porkies about killing dogs, than go and have a little conversation with the neighbour. I could also arrange a bag of dog poo on their doorstep. That’d be funny. And to think I suggested that anonymous notes with stupid exclamation marks was juvenile.

I can out-juvenile them.
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