The Christmas Card Situation

Hello and season’s greetings to all,


Several years ago, I was travelling along the Portuguese coast and was woken in the middle of the night by the BurberKing yelling from the annex of our VW camper “we’ve got a major f***ing situation here!” The phrase has stuck in my mind ever since. The situation itself was high comedy, but you can ask me about when you next see me, as there is some nuance in the retelling.


So, we’ve got a major Christmas card situation here. In mid November I went into the City with the express purpose of buying Christmas cards. I travelled the full 12ks from the Crawley campus. There is no real need to ever leave UWA, so it was an effort. Truly. Not for me were the standard cards bought at the newsagent or bookshop.

I went into the Combined Charities Card Shop on the corner of William and Hay Street. Tucked away in the foyer of the Bank of Queensland and operated by lovely volunteers that remind you of your grandmother’s friends. I picked out my cards from the selection pinned to the display boards, and marked my choices on the order forms provided. It took some time, as not only was the design of the card important to me, but so too was the charity itself. Jamie’s family has some links to Save the Children, so I picked up some of them. As our parents are getting older, I thought Alzheimer’s’ Australia deserved some sales as well. And I picked out some cards from the Leprosy Mission to send to our friend, Shane, as he is fond of telling us about exotic diseases.


These are only a few examples, but they give you a flavour of the thought and feeling that went into the Christmas cards that I bought and which none of you will receive. I have lost them. The cards, and the stamps that I bought and have slipped into the King’s Vortex of Shame (the “Vortex”). This whirling and turbulent flow is frightening at times, and it took all of your Christmas cards.

There is a mystery attached. At the point of sale at the Combined Charities Card Shop, I purchased some gift tags. Two sheets of them (about 20 tags for the 4 presents I have managed to buy). These gift tags avoided the Vortex. They are currently sitting on our kitchen bench, resting against the knife block. I see them every day and they serve only to heighten my anguish over the cards (and stamps) that the Vortex has so cruelly taken from each of you at what should be a peaceful time of year, full of giving and getting and love and joy and fine wine.



Merry Christmas to everyone.

Summer

8 February 2009

See you later

I am not going to add anything more to this blog for the time being. This is to commemerate me turning 35. I was going to delete the blog, but the burberking likes it, so I won't. It is just more self indulgent trash on the internet, if you ask me. I am off to spend more time underwater where it is quiet.

Harvest

Roma tomatoes this year. And many, many chillies. With a little bit of rosemary and an abundance of mint, sage and oregano. Some radishes, lettuce, rocket, vietnamese and italian basil. Passionfruit and corn didn't work out.

Sadly, our lemons are ripening quite late this year. Our gin and tonics have missed the home grown lemons.

As summer is coming to an end, I am not sure what we will do with all the lemons once they eventually ripen. A lemon glut.

Well Jack

He looks fine now, doesn't he? Was a bit different on Saturday.

Thanks to Murdoch Country Vet Cop Emergency Hospital Department ED

Australia Day II

Don't forget what's not great about Australia. They were my previous words.

Dugite snakes. There are very Australian and I don't much care for them. One of them bit my dog early this evening. Right in the middle of our Australia Day BBQ dinner.

How we avoided detection by the Booze Buses on our emergency drive to Murdoch Uni, I will never know.

So now Jack is living the life of Riley in a $900 a-night bed, feeding on a $500 vial of anti-venom. I am not sure what accounts for the remaining $600 of the overall bill. To think, earlier in the day, we were pleased to get a good deal on a $450 washing machine. How thrifty, we thought!

Bloody snakes. I hope our little friend makes it through the night. We will miss him terribly if he doesn't.

Australia Day

I used to like it. Then I went off it for a bit. And then one mate used to have great parties on Australia Day, so I developed a bit more affection for it. I once skied through a blizzard in France on Australia Day with two men and the flag. We had a great day, notwithstanding the Fosters.


But the relationship went sour when Hanson wrapped herself in the flag and then the country got wrapped up in it as well. And then young men wrapped themselve up in it and bashed some Australians with Lebanese-born Australian parents.
I am yet to recover from the shame. I cannot look at the Australian flag without those Cronulla riot images coming to mind. Eternal shame on us.

The motto this year is 'celebrate what's great'

http://www.australiaday.gov.au/

Go for it. But don't forget what's not great.

Water

The cost of supplying all the water to my house from 10 July 2007 to 11 Jan 2008 was $49.65

I am going out and buying a swimming pool and I am going to fill it with water. And then, day after day, I am going to do bombies in it and splash loads of water out and then fill it with more water. Then my water bill will go up and I'll be all incentivised to invest in a rain water tank to harvest the rain from the roof.

Its the only way out this ridiculous situation.

Legacy

I hope that John Howard's legacy to all Australians is swept away like he was.

Another

Geez, I nearly forgot this moment.





A spectacular day for some friends with the seals. The way they interact with us always blows me away.

To Live

There are times when I think I don't like where I live.

Apparently, some friends of mine cannot return because it is now cheaper to live in London than Perth. I don't believe this, but it is undoubtedly another good way to justify to family and friends why you can't stand the place. Sometime I don't like it simply because I can't go to France next weekend.

But then there are moments when I know why I came home, to live.

One moment: a balmy nights following a 40+ day, with our parents, at the flicks in Kings Park.

Other moments: at the beach.

The beach is an addiction. I've got an opportunity to move to Melbourne but when I reflect at length at why I am likely not to go, in all honestly it is because I love our beaches and cannot yet bear to be parted from them again .

Time of Year

Its that time of year where we drag tress inside and throw bright things on them to amuse and delight. This is the first 'real' Christmas tree we have been involved with since we lived in Jersey and would buy cut trees encased in nets.

Its not even at our house, but at my mum's. Only having dogs to amuse, the Christmas tree no longer delights me. It delights my mum though, so that is enough reason to lop a branch of one of the trees on the farm.

Newstopia with Shaun Micallef - LANGUAGE WARNING

I don't know how to post this to facebook, so it goes here instead.

Maxine McKew Wins Bennelong

I was stuck on 69 posts for a while there

Trash and Treasure

Recently we had a Sunday morning free. I suggested we go down to the local Rotary trash 'n treasure. Just to see what is out there. I was just hoping to pick up a couple of tomato plants or chilli plants for the vegetable garden.

That was not to be. Here is our bounty:














Husqvarna push along grass cutter
Flat leaf parsley
Bee hive smoker
Local garlic
Hammer
Vice
Tow ball
Chilli plant
Wire cutter
Very Large Spanner
Lovely Chinese Style Lazy Susan Dip Holder

I spotted the bee hive smoker and the lazy susan.

Bondi

I went to Bondi today. I saw this sign.

No

No

No

No

No

No

Fun

September

Another September, another hockey grand final...

A different result for the first time in three years. Although we didn't win, I got another bit of bling to hang on the nail in the wall.

It shows what happens when hustlers get turned into saints.

New Technology

I have been resisting buying any new kind of television recording equipment like a VCR or a DVD recorder. I do enjoy watching the tube in the evening, but generally there is nothing on it I feel I cannot miss. Generally. The Tour starts again this weekend, and there is a certain something about the struggle of fit men to get up mountains on a bicycle that appeals to me. The thought of riding quite quickly for 3 hours nearly every day for 3 weeks makes me want to weep.

So we're off to spend some cash on a DVD recorder to record the Tour. I suspect this new machine may only be used for 3 to 4 weeks in a year.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/main.jhtml?xml=/sport/2007/07/03/sobren103.xml

Pasha Bulker

I admire activists. I admire the ingenuity of their protests. Like this one at Nobby's Beach in Newcastle, NSW, where the 77,000 tonne coal carrier, Pasha Bulker, ran aground earlier this month.

I have a friend who is an activist. She engineered a particlury amusing protest in regard to the conditions of child care workers. It involved psuedo soiled nappies and an MP's electoral office. I bet the MP didn't see that coming.